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Abortion
do it]] The act of killing a living American citizen by ripping him or her from a pregnant mother's womb "God's sacred vessel" sure sounds awful ... and of course it is. Everyone agrees this is too cruel, unusual and inhumane for death row inmates, but we'll ignore the fact that few if any death row inmates are or have ever been pregnant. While the term also applies to non-Americans, be they illegal immigrants or aboriginal or Zulu, we don't care because while kids surviving status as fly bait may eventually starve in Africa, we only care about Americans. "God's sacred vessel" (wait ... isn't the Arc of the Covenant "God's sacred vessel" - you know, the vessel carrying those 13 commandments ?) ... Ditto the fact that those living in "God's sacred vessel" are by definition (silly you) not yet "born" and therefore by the 14th Amendment, are not yet American citizens. We should also thank God that war never causes the loss of any Pre-Born Live. History In the beginning, God wrote a book called Why Abortion and Homos are Bad and More Important than Everything Else later re-published (with centuries of re-writes) as "The Bible". What the Bible says about abortion ... . In the 1950's the procedure was performed with a wooden 2 pronged fork. In the later decades Lutherans regularly cannibalized aborted fetuses during their gay orgies and demonic sacrifices in the name of "Hargarothikus": an apostle of hell. Now they use like, Shop-Vacs and shit. Or plungers. Baptists, on the other hand, are pure; God's chosen people - wait .. that's the Jews. Never mind. Regardless, there is a centuries-old dispute over whether they use "like" Shop-Vacs and plungers, or actual Shop-Vacs and plungers. Historians cannot yet explain how all this was done pre-power grid, but that is left for future generatons to figure out. If the procedure were to ever become illegal again (God willing, aka Insha' al-Lah), commies and liberals would revert to rudimentary devices like coat hangers, for no particular reason whatsoever. In rare cases a strong aborted fetus will return to life and wreak havoc on the surrounding communities using their pre-birth powers of mind-control. Often referred to as BaAbia's, these pre-children and are often exhumed from the prego tail first. Liberals have invented a new form of abortion, which they call stem cell research. Opinions on Abortion There are 2 different opinions on Abortion: *Human beings believe "The Right Way" - Life begins before conception, therefore abortion is bad... what if a certain Virgin Mary had decided to go down to Ye Olde Abortion Clinic... no Jesus, and then no America... BAD. *Babykillers believe "The Wrong Way" - Let the Bears rip all babies from the womb and eat them! Believers of the wrong way hate babies and want to kill them all. How to identify a babykiller * gives away "free donuts" of your "choice" at orgieshttp://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2009/01/pro-life_group_up_in_arms_over.php *Instead of calling themselves concieved-again Christians, babykillers call themselves "born-again christians", thus admitting that they believe life begins at birth instead of conception. *Babykillers celebrate "Birthdays" not conceptiondays as non-babykillers do. *Babykillers say "I have two children and one on the way" instead of "I have three children". *True Christian women check their maxi-pads for miscarriages, and hold a funeral when they find one. "Born-again" babykillers don't. *Babykillers have no complaints about the census not counting the unborn. *Babykillers also have no complaints against "birth certificates" while True Christians are lobbying for them to be replaced with Conception Certificates *The vast majority of birth control methods involve killing a fertilized egg, including the ubiquitous birth control pill. That's right, if your wife is on the pill, she's a baby-killer. False-Christians brag about how they oppose abortion, yet they have no complaints about this far more common type of babykilling. *Though they oppose stem cell research, which mutilates dead babies, false-Christian babykillers don't oppose the In vitro fertilisation process which murdered the babies in the first place. Stem Cells are corpses being recycled. It's the fetilization process that created the corpses - and false-Christians don't have anything against it. Abortion Poetry First they came for the stem cells, but I am a liberal, so I don't care. Then they came for the fetuses, but I was saving the whales, so I didn't care. And when they came for the soldiers, there weren't any because the liberals made them all gay. Why do liberals hate America? To send someone you hope will burn in hell an e-card after her abortion, click here. India & China Countless millions of unborn children are aborted here every year. We support our frenemy's "pro-abortion" movement so we don't have to nuke the weird looking bastards. We also support them heavily taxing families in order to limit the number of blessings women can have. Notable Providers * George Tiller * Jon Stewart Planned Parenthood In 2012, the secular-abortion-industrial complex headed by Planned Parenthood opened an $8 billion Abortionplex in the heart of America. See Also *Abortion (The Wørd) *fetal pain *birth rape *Hero External Tubes *Fetus Pain *Abortion Breast Cancer - a study by medical "doctors", not Dr. Stephen Colbert *How To get an Abortion - find a clinic to bomb with tube maps *America's Most Wanted! *Nixon loves to eat babies *Personhood laws will save babies and outlaw miscarriages! *Evil parents arrested for miscarrying murdering baby! *Real American Hero sends mail on 'how to stop' abortionist *Latest Communist Gay Policy: Free Abortion Pills for Everyone!! *Real American Hero and Baby Savior to go to prison *Abortion Clinic to be closed! *Real American Hero to be honored for saving wymin and childrun *Abortion loving witch demands more abortions *Daily Abortion Show to premiere in local public square *Brave American Heroes and their Organization to save babies under libural threat! *Majority of Americans supports life! *Operation Rescue finds new Cash Cow *Real Americans celebrate the end of Fetus Murders *America protecting babies of future wars *Human Life Alliance declares Rape is part of God's Plan *Spain to kill more babies *Abortion continues to plague America *another successful story from the party of life *Abortion TV: Too Hot for Youtube! *Death after birth is not murder *Baby Killers still free *Gays now aborting hetero babies! *New Law will save more fetuses. Congrats, daddy! *Real Americans continue fight for teh fetus *fetus police to stop liberals *Fetus to testify in Congress: "Obama is a mooslim!" *The evil story of a baby killer *Rape and Incest last roadblock to stop abortion, lets make them cool! *Prosecutors going hard on fetus killers *Real American to implement "2nd Amendment Remedies" to stop baby killing *Liberals take over Vatican. Giving away free abortions. *How Texas saved another fetus from the evil liberals *GOP to investigate Legitimate Rape *But is Rape rape? *GOP to defend freedom and illegal rapes. *Politico reporter supports Constitutional Amendment for "Rape-light", is like rape but is not rape.